Survey shows almost 90 percent of women decide when it's time to pursue motherhood
— Special to the Journal —
PALO ALTO, Calif. — A recent BettyConfidential.com survey suggests that only a small fraction of women — 13 percent of those polled — say they are feeling "have my baby" pressure from their husbands. In fact, 87 percent of the women polled say they are the ones who will decide when to pursue parenting.
At a time when the crucial decisions surrounding motherhood include options such as "outsourcing"/surrogacy (aka Tina Fey and Amy Poehler in Baby Mama), and loaded biological clock and career markers, the good news is women feel they are in control of when and how they will become moms.
We all know that there's a lot of pressure on today's woman to start a family as soon as the ring is slipped on her finger. Parents eager to be grandparents, fertile friends and Hollywood in general collectively puts on the be-with-child push. But, what about our spouses? Do our biological
The good news: husbands are cool with us setting our own baby clocks.
"Our survey results show that women are in control, they decide when they want to have children, and they have more freedom to consider the physical and emotional requirements themselves, without pressure from their husbands," said Mary Beth Sammons, BettyConfidential.com's Life Stages Editor (Raising Kids and Finding You) and a mom of three. "It's a very positive sign that society is affirming a woman's right to acknowledge that motherhood is an experience they need to be prepared for and not get pressured into. It gives them the leeway to examine the lifestyle changes that will come into place."
"It was just the opposite," said a BettyConfidential.com survey respondent about her marital decision to be with child. Mum was the word from the hubby front, she said. "I pressured HIM before he really wanted a baby."
That's encouraging considering all the considerations prospective mothers juggle these days, from biological clocks that diminish their reproductive potential, birth complications following a certain age, self-imposed personal deadlines, and the delicate balance of work and career issues.
"The results show that prospective moms have one less issue to deal with and that is pressure from their husbands," said Sammons.
Of course that doesn't rule out others from piping in on the get-pregnant front. Unfortunately, the pressure still is on from the prospective grandparents and mom and tot playgroup aspires. One of the BettyConfidential.com respondents said it frankly:
"I never felt pressure from my husband, but HIS FAMILY, well — THAT was another story!"
BettyConfidential.com was co-founded by bestselling author and television commentator Deborah Perry Piscione and Internet entrepreneur Shaun Marsh in March 2008. CNN's Soledad O'Brien serves as chairman of the Advisory Board